Following on from the scooter crash, I have been laid up for 2 weeks at least, as well as being scheduled for some minor internal surgery just before Easter, so we'll be using the Easter break to just chill out. I've been treating the massive bruising on the hip & thigh with cream to draw it out, as well as keeping it bandaged as much as I can stand. The doctor drew 300 ml of blood out of it (that's over half of a regular blood donation) & it looks like there's still just as much in there. I have trouble sitting in the car for more than just a few minutes, because the ergonomic front seats curve upwards at the side & push right into where the bulge is sticking out. I'm starting to understand some of Doris's problems of getting her big arse into small seats & why she never went on any roller coasters. It's a bit like wearing a bum bag (fanny pack to the Yanks) lengthwise on the hip - it just gets in the way of everything, like wiping my bum for example. Too graphic? Oh well, life's a bitch & then you marry one. Heh heh. And then the laceration on the arm is driving me nuts too. OK, I've finished whingeing now.

Following on from the holiday, April & Mike have managed to catch Duncan on camera saying his version of G'day. So cute. And Mike & Duncan got their photo on the front page of the local newspaper, while barracking for their local Hockey team, the Silvertips.

The good news is that I survived the surgery on the body part that we often refer to & usually don't actually talk about. Two of the little buggers were found & removed. I am now home & I have very sore bum. The surgeon also very kindly inserted a drain in the bulging leg and drained off another 600 ml of blood while still in the theatre (hmm, that'd be the O.R. for you followers of Gray's Anatomy). Another 200 ml drained out while I was in the hospital & I have to carry the drainage bag everywhere. Fun! Meanwhile, Julie is doing her very best to maintain a balance between hovering & leaving me to "do it myself". For someone who is definitely not nurse material, she has done some pretty icky things for me in the last few days. BTW, some photos are available on request for those who don't mind seeing the gory details.

While the kids were here, April fell in love with Datsun, as both of them prefer a bit of serious one on one undivided attention from time to time. She refers to him lovingly as "The Sausage". We got a very excited e-mail from her recently, to say that she had found some "sausage" scrapbooking materials (photo).

Some thoughts on having a hemorrhoidectomy: The bloody doctor, when he was discharging me, lied! He said the first poo would be the worst. Actually the first one just pushing out the absorbent packs that had been left in there (I think). The second one was just pure agony. I explained it Julie as, "Take a paper cut & then take the intensity of that pain & spread it across a square inch or two." I nearly passed out on that one - I came out to the lounge & looked like a ghost. We had been planning to go & look at a house to buy & all I did was go back to bed for a couple of hours. It's getting better since then, but it's certainly no walk in the park just yet! Metamucil capsules are a substantial part of my diet right now. And Kotex are just fantastic! Very funny having Julie explain & demonstrate to me how to install one in the underwear.

Meanwhile, the drain in the leg continues to do its job. All in all, I've lost over 2 pints of blood in the last week, so it's no wonder I'm feeling a little drained (yes, pun intended) & anaemic. Update for the week after the Easter break: My regular doctor is off sick today, so I went back to the surgeon to check on the drain & he promptly snipped the suture holding it in & pulled it out. It was a bloody great piece of perforated tubing about 6 inches long! So now that it's out, I'm back to wearing Julie's girdle again, to provide the necessary compression to enable the skin tissue to bond back onto the muscle tissue correctly. And it also helps the Kotex stay on properly (hmm, probably too much information). See how much you learn about all sorts of stuff when you read this newsletter!

But wait, there's more! We have also bought a townhouse for the two of us to live in here in Canberra. After the details of the refinance for the Perth property came through, we realised that we have enough oomph to go again, then realised that we'll most likely be here for the next 5 years while the portfolio grows enough to support us in our retirement, so the next one may as well be one to live in. Pip took me over to see it after I saw the surgeon, we looked, we called Julie, we collected Julie, she saw, we both liked, she loved the kitchen, we submitted an offer on the spot & I've just heard that it's been accepted. Photos here (14 in all - keep clicking on Next). Some terminology - house: has its own street address; townhouse: has its own entry; unit or apartment: has a common entry; apartment: generally (but not always) in a high rise building, often (but not always) furnished & set up for short term stays.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. As stated above, the scenario was for my leg injury was: Day 1: Injury, followed by a dose of aspirin (first mistake); Day 2: See the GP (General Practitioner aka regular doctor), she aspirates the swelling & advises keeping it compressed with bandages; Day 5 (approx): Julie pulls out a girdle to use for compression & I start using it; Day 10: Surgery & the drain is inserted; Day 11: Discharged from hospital with instruction to leave the drain in for several days; Day 15: Visit the surgeon & he removes the drain, with instructions to go home & apply compression. To him, this was fun, instead of the usual boring run-of-the-mill haemorrhoidectomy. At this point, it was still draining 100 ml a day. Didn't ask whether it was possible to go "straight" home, & it took another 2 hours (buying the house) to get home & put the girdle on again; Day 17: Visit the GP again & she aspirates it again & compression is maintained & even increased by doubling it over on the affected part. There is still a substantial amount of fluid still in there & she wants to see me again in one week. I expect this problem to persist for another couple of weeks.

Much better scenario: Day11: The nature of the drain fully explained (I thought it was a needle, not a perforated tube) & compression (via girdle) is applied. Drain flow rates are explained, so that we (Julie & I) can make informed decisions; Day 15: We can determine whether or not it is in my interest to remove the drain, i.e. whether the rate of flow has decreased sufficiently & I can remove it myself if necessary, Intervention by the surgeon is not really required; Day 17: The GP & I can decide whether to remove the drain. By now the swelling has probably subsided anyway, the remainder of the bruising is starting to surface, & perhaps the compression can be removed.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch: On a pain level of 1 to 10, I often have a background 3 that can spike to 10. I have the girdle doubled over on the bulge, as well as an elastic bandage providing more compression. Problem: when I try to move the leg into a different position that involves movement of the trapped blood, what it feels like is that the blood is moving between layers of muscle tissue & tearing them apart, hence the 10. Solution: Don't move the leg into a different position. OK, how many people do you know that sleep in the one position all night every night? And sometimes, something as simple as standing up spikes the 10. Even worse, my doctor has lost her voice & is unavailable today, & it's not even worth getting the surgery to ask her to call me back, because she can't speak! So I'm stuck with this for a few more days. Needless to say, Julie's stress level is over the top & far away! But hey, I'm still alive! Doesn't that count for something?

Update: Been back to the doctor, drained a bit more out, but the whole area is more solid & not so puffy, which is progress. Next step is to simply keep the compression on, because it is working, albeit slowly. The chiropractor also suggested I use a staff (a long stick) to take some of the weight off that side. I discovered that the walking stick we already have does the job, because I'm not leaning on it anyway & it takes off just enough weight to make walking a little easier. We also remembered that the head screws off the stick, so we did that, to find a test tube inside. "Drugs?", she said. "No, grog supply."

And we have started the sort process for the house. Our wonderful friends Ruth & Leon came over on Saturday morning, & in record time, we had cleared one whole half of the garage. so that we can now start the setting up process for the garage sale & stuff doesn't need to be handled more than twice. In the process, Julie found some old photos of her first wedding, so they'll have to get scanned & put up here in due course. Funny, I took one look at Andy & said, "Wow, he's a dead ringer for April!" April, you may not want to hear this, but you look like your father.

Another week has gone by & I didn't make it into work at all. I've just been exhausted. I have a little bit of energy first thing in the morning, & by about 10:30, I'm heading back to bed for a rest, during which I can sleep for up to 3 more hours. It turns out that the level 10 pain mentioned above comes from the blood running over raw nerve endings. Yeah, no wonder. That has at least moderated a little this week, but the background is still there whenever the painkillers wear off. The doctor was severely unimpressed with the progress this week & my job on Monday morning is to call the surgeon's office & plead with his receptionist for some way to get a drain inserted again. And we have done more sorting & culling. And started to define where stuff goes, one location for "definitely going with us", another for "culled by one but not the other", etc.